Is there really only one perfect person for each of us to marry, and if you don’t marry that person than you won’t be happy? Some thoughts to consider:
If this is true, than what about Christians who have married non-Christians? The Bible is clear about the truth that Christians should marry Christians (because what we believe affects how we act and live). So if a Christian married a non-Christian, what happened to their perfect soul mate? Are they left out because their perfect soul mate married someone else?
What about a death of a Christian spouse? I know faithful Christians who have lost a spouse and eventually remarried later in life. Did they have two perfect soul mates?
If we each have a perfect soul mate, than how do we know when we have found the right one?
May I suggest that the idea of a perfect soul mate, may be erroneous? Biblically speaking the most important thing is finding someone who is a Christian who truly fears the Lord, or desires to do what is pleasing to God above all else. Love and marriage is not about how perfectly people fit together. Rather, love is a willful choice. God loves us not because we are easy to love, but because He simply graciously chose to love us. The same goes for our relationships; no one is easy to love, but we can choose to love them and remain committed even when things aren’t perfect.
Perhaps it’s not about finding your perfect soul mate, but rather finding a committed Christian who together are willing to make it work.
Some tidbits from a good article from Albert Mohler: https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/problem-delaying-marriage/
Tellingly, secular authorities in the culture are now expressing worry about the delay of marriage among young Americans. When Time magazine is concerned about young Americans not getting married, Christians must be doubly concerned.
Study after study reveals that young Americans are achieving adulthood, if at all, far later than previous generations now living.
Why is this important to us all? A stable and functional culture requires the establishment of stable marriages and the nurturing of families. Without a healthy marriage and family life as foundation, no lasting and healthy community can long survive.
And we must encourage young Christians not to delay marriage, nor to marry in haste, but to make marriage a priority in the critical years of young adulthood. The Christian church must encourage young Christians toward the goal of marriage and must be clear about the necessity of holiness and obedience to Christ at every stage and in every season of life.
“Single Christians must be careful not to think there is only one person out there who would make a perfect spouse for them. Christians do not stay married because they have chosen the “perfect” spouse. Marriage lasts for those who know they got married for God’s glory primarily, not themselves (1 Cor. 10:31). These couples stay together because they know dissolving marriage vows dishonors the Lord in almost every case (Num. 30:2).” – R.C. Sproul
“Cohabitation, once rare, is now the norm: The researchers found that more than half (54 percent) of all first marriages between 1990 and 1994 began with unmarried cohabitation. They estimate that a majority of young men and women of marriageable age today will spend some time in a cohabiting relationship.
“…Cohabiting relationships are less stable than marriages and that instability is increasing” -The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development
In the United States and in the UK, couples who live together are at a greater risk for divorce than non-cohabiting couples.
Cohabiting couples had a separation rate five times that of married couples and a reconciliation rate that was one-third that of married couples.
As marriage rates have fallen, the number of U.S. adults in cohabiting relationships has continued to climb, reaching about 18 million in 2016. This is up 29% since 2007, when 14 million adults were cohabiting, according to U.S. Census Bureau data.
Number of U.S. adults cohabiting with a partner continues to rise, especially among those 50 and older
Ran across an article written a few years ago (2015), stating that kissing is now the leading risk for head and neck cancers (not sure if the stats have changed since then or not). It says the more people you kiss the more likely you are to get HPV. Might be wise to quit kissing all your dates.
The average age at first marriage has risen significantly over the last 50 years. People today are waiting 6-7 years longer to get married than previous generations. Between 1950-1960 the average age of men at first marriage was around 23 and the average age for women was around 20. Today the average age for men at first marriage is around 29 and the average age for women at first marriage is around 27.
Divorce rates have been fairly steady but the number of both men and women who have never been married has steadily increased.